Got bored a little creative writing

Hate when I settle for less knowing I deserve more
Its alright though cause you closed that door
So I guess I should be thankful for savin me the heartache
Of finding out later on you’re fake
Yeah its alright I ain’t gonna let it get me down
You ain’t the only girl left in this town
Either way you’re all the same
Just different faces but the same game
Yeah it hurt at first not going to lie
But there was really nothing between you and I
At least got out before it got deep
Cause I ain’t gonna lose no sleep

I should’ve listened to what everyone said
Should’ve stayed away instead
Its alright though cause sometimes you got to learn the hardway
That’s what it took today but that’s okay

So I know that sometimes I can be a little over jealous
But that just shows how much I cared about us
The one time I was ready to be your one
It was nothing more than a game to you just for fun
I just can’t understand how I couldn’t see it right from the start
I was told not to and even felt it in my heart
Like that undeniable feeling you just don’t want to admit
Knew it was true but I just didn’t want it
I guess that’s how it starts
Cause when we were apart
I know you didn’t think about me
And maybe one day you will see

Its okay though cause I’m ah go back to just bein me
Not carin about anybody
Only lookin out for number one
No more caring cause I’m done
Never again will I put myself out there
Doesn’t really seem fair but I don’t care
Tired of bein the one to walk the miles when you can’t even meet me halfway
Not tomorrow, the next or any day
I’m done putting in the work only to find it was a waste of my time
Guess I cared a little to much but is that really a crime
And now I just find myself asking how could I be so stupid
Knew it was wrong that’s why I can’t believe I did

Yep its okay good luck with life your loss anyway
Don’t care anymore about what you have to say
So just save it for some other fool
This is my new rule
Never again put yourself out there
Don’t ever care

The best memories, frozen in time, photos…

Ever look back at old photo’s and see one picture that at first glance makes you just smile? Yeah I was browsing through some photos today looking at some old pictures and amazingly enough the picture that caught my eye was not of me partying or anything like that. It was a photo of me and a certain somebody that will go nameless that I have not seen in some time and well,… Like time and distance usually does it tries even the best of friendships. Either way though as soon as I saw the picture I remembered the day like it was just moments ago that it happened even though the actual day the photo was taken was at least a year or two ago. It was a good time, a time when nothing could go wrong and everything seemed to be going right! It was my small slice of perfection. I had the perfect friends, good money, bustling lifestyle and a girl that I cared a lot about that was more beautiful in every way. More beautiful than every other girl put combined, not only that but she intrigued me, kept me on my toes 24/7.

It had been something I had not expected nor ever had happen before. Up until this point every girl was just the one until the next one came along. It was different though because I felt like I had found my one and never need, nor ever want another one. While others had bored me after a month or two she found ways to always keep me in tune with her. The great part was though, that she never tried to it just happened which is what I think was the best part about it. It was just her natural personality that kept me so anxious to just spend one more moment with her. To talk to her endlessly until early morning, stare into her beautiful eyes, hold each other, cuddle, love, and care. The crazy twisted part is that we never dated.

I feel like there was just so much riding on us, that if we were to change what we were would ruin the enticing action that always followed in our wake. The feeling was mutual and more than obvious and we had been intimate before, spent countless nights together. I still regret never making things more official, but it is a time I surely will never forget. When she ran away from home she spent the nights with me and her father knew and thanked me knowing he could trust me cause I called him naturally knowing he was worried sick not sure where his daughter was. That was another thing to, during this time I was in the Navy and while I had no family during holidays her family gladly opened their doors to me and made me feel welcomed. I had a very good relationship with her parents and family and often took trips with them on their family vacations.

It is unfortunate, I have since moved back to Michigan and during the better days I was in Virginia. Now states separate us and distance has truly proven to rear its ugly horns. We speak very few and far between as compared to before when we seen each other everyday. She has now got a new boyfriend so I have not heard from her in almost two months do not expect to for some time at least not until they break up. Hmmm… Its crazy how things work out sometimes. I guess though, that time will always be preserved in my mind as one of the best years of my life, because all there was is good and now there is no painful breakup and things ended on a good note. Who knows though, fate my have other ideas I guess time will only tell with hope.

Bored at work

I still think about you from day to day
I call but never know what to say
So I just hang up the phone
I guess your better off alone
Its hard for me cause I desperately want you to see
Me for me and not what others say I will be
Cause haters never want others to be happy
So join them in their misery
Instead of taking a chance with me
Its okay though cause one day you will see
How much ya missed out on when you closed that door
Not going to worry about it anymore

Cause your all the same just different faces
So put on your shoes and tie up the laces
Runaway from something good like you always do
The sad part is you know that its true
Ignore your better judgment like you always do
Take all theirs lies for true

Its unfortunate you still deny the true
So whats left to do
Please tell me what would make you see
And thats what I will be
Walk that thin line contemplating
While everything seems so frustrating
everyone else sees this as black and white
Cause they all know whats right
Your the only one that still doesn’t see
Me for me
Your the only one that sees me as the bad guy
And I don’t know why

Its rather sad cause you say you want someone to not hurt you
But what do you think he is going to do
Do you really think he will treat your right
Do you really think he will stand by every night
I’m sorry to say but your just there for his amusement
Not for the love, the truth or the time spent
So go ahead and walk right back into his lieing arms
I sware I never meant any harm
I just don’t to see you get hurt by him
But its not looking good things are rather dim
Have your fun cause I hope its worth it
I am tired of all the bullshit

New evidence found in Caylee Anthony’s case

So police finally announced that they are charging Caylee Anthony’s Mother Casey with first degree murder, aggravated child abuse, aggravated manslaughter of a child, and four counts of providing false information to police.

Interestingly police found that Casey Anthony lied on multiple occasions during questioning, for example at one time police had asked when was the last Casey had seen her daughter. She had responded when she dropped her off at her babysitters however after checking into the address they found that the apartment had been vacant for months. On top of that the woman that Casey named as the babysitter said that she didn’t even know who Casey was.

In addition police cadaver dogs had smelt something coming from a car in the back yard. When FBI analyzed the air they found amounts of Chloroform and also trace amounts of decomposition in the trunk. Police questioned neighbors to find that Casey had asked to borrow a shovel. Coincidently police also searched Casey computer to find missing children and chloroform searches done from her computer. Police also found a piece of hair which they believe to be Caylee’s.

It is unfortunate two other groups have discontinued their searches for Caylee and police are presuming that she is dead. In the very least she could tell them where she is so they could at least bury the body. It is unfortunate!

So Britney is back?!

Apparently according to the news Britney Spears is back?! Crazy, not to sure what to think of it yet. I know she already has some new songs, but how long do you think it will last. Have the last problems been solved and has she had enough time properly reecooperate? In my personal opinion if I was at that age, made that much money I wouldn’t be worried about ever going back. If I had that kind of money I would be worried about finding enough things to spend it on before my life was over. Her new songs are good though and the video for “womanizer”, is quite hot. I hope she does do good and does bounce back but I guess we will just have to wait and see.

It is unfortunate for those type of superstars in the fact that they have never really had a chance to mature and grow up normally. It has been a huge issue surrounding Britney saying that she is not mature or grown up enough to have kids among a number of other accusations but really when has she ever really had a chance to grow up. As with most child stars most of their days if not all of their days have been scheduled down to the minute so how can people ever fault someone for being immature? In a way I understand it because sometime or another they could have said I just want to quite and have a normal life but still if they don’t who would blame them?

So anyways I hope the best for her, she is looking good as ever and sounding just as good as before and it seems like the media is back on her side again pushing for her to be right back there in the mainstream so best wishes!

Darfur horrible problem but still not ours

I just recently received an email from an organization maybe some you have heard of and quite possibly were a part of in some during this last Presidential election, “Rock The Vote.” For last couple months they have been sending reminders to vote and things like that for the presidential election but now they have cast their sights on Darfur. Darfur is a small African country in south of Africa where civil war has been a constant for well ever. Anyways they are trying to rally support saying, “Lets send a message to Mr. Obama to stop this genocide from happening.” You know, I agree this tragedy is terrible, I have been watching the situation and gone to their site where they have satellite photos depicting the damages. If you would like to see the images or visit the site its called Eyes On Darfur. To get an explanation of the violent crimes taking place from Wikipedia.

Anyways its a horrible situation but I am sorry personal thoughts are that we don’t need to be lobbying the President one way when there are to many issues on his plate that are affecting us directly. Secondly this is not our problem, if you research it, that are has had civil unrest since the beginning of time and always will. You may pause the violence but after time the government is not strong enough and it will all break out again. In addition we are already in a two front war and don’t need to make that a three front war. We spend to much on the wars we are still fighting right now whether or not we are still considered to be at war doesn’t matter because the money keeps on flowing out of our pockets and into their mouths. I have problem helping people but right now that is the least of our problems if we can’t even help ourselves and that is my issue with it.

Again before everybody tries to jump my junk, I do not, let me repeat that, I do not approve of the violence wish I could do something but right now is just not a good time for us to be addressing this issue.

Updates on my son Kylar

So yeah took my son back home here this last Sunday. Its crazy he is about to be two here in a couple months but he is already acting like a punk little two year old. Its great though the other day Kylar was running around and kept smacking into shat and of course Grandma’s freaking out like, “Oh Kylar are you alright”. Of course he looks at her like, “Get off me, I’m a boy I can take it!” I love it though thats how I know hes my son, not afraid of getting hurt and well stubborn do it my way whether I find out the hard way or not its my way.

He’s learning so many new words, just the other day I taught him to say dude! He’s getting everything down really good, knows all his animals, colors among other things. Plus he is already almost potty trained although sometimes he says “Poddy”, after he already went. Don’t worry though we are working on it. He already eats everything on his own with silverware and sometimes with thee additional help of hand from time to time. Can’t fault him though he does good. I am surprised though he loves helping us out with anything were doing. He will always run up to me when I am putting my clothes away, washing dishes or something like that and be like, “Help, Help?!” I know that wasn’t something that I did a lot of when I was younger but I guess its good as long as it stays that way.

He doesn’t fight bed or should I say hasn’t been until like the last two nights for some reason he didn’t want to go to sleep. He puts all his toys away when time without even being asked! Shocked the F out of me. He absolutely loves trucks, tractors and cars so I got him one of the little mini jeeps that has the gas pedals for reverse and forward and a little engine compartment he can play in. I guess it only goes 2.5mph but we’ll see what dad can do to fix that lol. I was wanted to go fast and I know he does so well have to find some nitro or something like that for it. I almost gave it to him early just because I know how much he is going to love it. My friends mom got him a hockey net and two sticks so definitely gonna be working on teaching how to play some puck here next time he comes down.

Its funny though cause me and him have been wrestling, and I been teaching him some brazilian jujitsu moves. Course he doesn’t really understand it he just thinks we are wrestling but I love it anyways because he likes playing rough and isn’t afraid of smacking his head around a little. Course I don’t ever let him get hurt while we are wrestling so don’t think that I am torturing him its not like that. What else, hmmm….

Iono,…. I have high, high hopes for him I can see him going so far. He comprehends things so quickly and understands more than most the three year olds that are in my mothers daycare I take him to when I am at work. I am proud as hell of him and can’t wait to see how the next couple years pan out. Plus I can’t wait till he starts dating just gonna be breaking hearts for sure. Plus I’m buying his first car and we are going to make that thing a beast! So you know the girls will be all about it.

Can I get ahead?!

Yeah so the weekend went well, had fun and Thanksgiving was great. So I go to take my son home last night to Ohio from Michigan. I start driving everythings cool get three and a half hours into a four hour journey when my car breaks down over heated. Yeah, but guess this that isn’t the worst part, I had gotten this car no more than 6 days ago. I had a Chevy Lumina which putzed out me, it had 270,000 miles so I don’t blame the old girl. Anyways I went last wednesday and picked this car up and it was already acting by the sixth day?! So it breaks down on the 75 south in Lima, Ohio. I am sitting there waiting for babies momma to come and get my son since I wasn’t going to be able to make it all the way down to where she was at and then I finally get it started for all of five minutes just to drive just close enough to see the exit but never get off the highway. So then babies momma gets there with her boy toy and he has diagnostic equipment which reads out that it has a cylinder five and six misfire which is probably the ignition coil and then also a low voltage in the tempature wire which I am not sure what that is but either way the thing wouldn’t start again so I ended up having to call my parents at 6pm to come and get me. It took them four hours to get there meanwhile I am wandering aimlessly in Wal Mart just trying to find something to do. Not to mention that yesterday in Michigan it decided to blizzard. So my mom finally gets there at like 9:30pm and I have to drive the entire way back in this crappy blizzard with idiot drivers which took over four hours didn’t reach home until 2:30am and now I am back at work writing about this horrid ordeal. Oh and around 8:30pm my phones battery decided to die on me to so then I couldn’t even talk to friends. lol, crazy crazy!