So I got a call the other day and it was from my ex. Before I go any farther I should say that me and my ex currently share equal custody of our son. She lives in OH and I live in MI, I get him every other month right now. Anyways she calls me up crying. I was like, “Oh god what happened?” She began by saying she was so frustrated, hated life, etc. Then she astonished me by telling me that my son, her son, our son was a mistake?! That she regreted having him because all he does is cry. I am sorry but he is never like that with me, to be honest I think its because she doesn’t give him that much attention so he cries until he gets her attention. Right now he is one and a half. Anyways she goes on tell me that she doesn’t want him anymore and is getting pissed at him etc. I almost didn’t know what to say, I was astonished that she would ever say anything like that.
It didn’t surprise me though, the only reason for justifying her arguments were I can’t take it, he won’t stop crying and I just want to be able to go out and do whatever I want, whenever I want. It really disappointed me because I thought she was making progress in growing up which had been her failing point when we were together. It was sad, I never ever will regret my son he is the best thing that happened to me but I regret having him with her. I wished I had been more wise in my decision to have him with her, wish I had chosen my partner more wisely. Instead now he must suffer. Yes if you were wondering she is dating but that is not the problem, the other guy doesn’t have a problem with Ky and I have made very clear that he can discipline him but to never take it the extreme! Anyways its her its always been like this the wind blows and she follows. To the point that she once went through four cars within a year, not just cars but brand new cars.
After rambling for a while to me I finally interceded, I offered to gladly take him and she would never have to deal with him again. It hurt me to say it and know why she didn’t want him. How am I to ever tell my son his mom thought he was mistake. I never will, I would just tell him your mom had some growing up to do, but I know the questions will come as he grows like “Where’s mommy” and I hope I never have to hear it but I hope he never asks “why doesn’t mommy love me?” I feel like I failed him, like responsible. There was nothing I could do, I never knew how she was until after we had the child. Everything was great before we had the child and then it went to hell all of a sudden. She had the baby needed attention which mine everyday should’ve been enough but for her she was always a social fanatic and craved the approval of others and she found it by working at a bar. I am not going into it any further but I have a post about that if you want to check it out.
So anyways I told her no matter how frustrated you get Do not hit or hurt him! I have offered billions of times to just take him completely, but she always says no until now. She hasn’t fully agreed to let me take him but it would be for the best because I know they scream at each other while he cries and I am sure he catches some of it to especially when they are frustrated and he is crying because they’re yelling. Right now he goes home to her knowing ten to fifteen new words that he didn’t before but he comes back to me knowing only the same words. I once asked her “Do you ever try to teach him?” She responded thats what school is for. It disgusted me because I want my son to be the best and I don’t force him when he comes to me with a book in his hand I drop what I am doing and read it to him sometimes I can’t always but if I can’t I always go get him as soon as I can.
Plus my mother has been a pre kindergarten teacher and younger child teacher for her entire life and she constantly works with him. Its not a thing of forcing him though so don’t get those perceptions. We work with him when he wants to, if he starts whining and wants to go play we let him go play. I am not one of those psycho freaks but I want my son to be ahead and never have to struggle. Plus I am not really to worried about it cause I can already tell he is smart, he grasps things so quickly. Plus I don’t have a girlfriend nor plan on having for a long time, I am more focused on my career and getting to where I need to be to provide for his every need. I will install value into him to, he is not going to be spoiled but he will be very well taken care of. I see my father, with his current financial situation living day to day and it kills me because I can’t support my mom him and myself on my salary right now and thats why I making sure that I will always be well off now before I get to old and get stuck working some dead end job. Not me never.
So yeah, needless to say I am disgusted and disappointed that she could ever say that about him but not surprised nor mad. Its almost like she can’t help it she has always had a lack of responsibility. I am just hoping she will say take I don’t want him anymore he’s yours… It will be hard, but I’m a man and a father and I will sacrifice my social life because I don’t care I always have friends that will be there for me if I need them. It just dawned on me the difference between me and her, maturity and confidence… I have self confidence something she has never had. It seems like she is just so worried about her social life and losing her friends than her son plus maturity too.