I recently browsed through some of my comments which lead to me to a blog that I like a lot. The writer is a eloquent very symbolistic writer, very talented. You could tell she writes from the heart. Anyways she like many people if not everyone I know was dealing with trying to conform or be what others wanted her to be.
In that very sense of that statement I have a huge moral issue with that. It is great to try to be everything to everyone but fact of nature is that you can’t and will never please everyone no matter how hard you try. I believe that a lot of people let views of others make a large part of their decisions for them. I mean how many of us have done something simply because the majority did it to? How many of us have done something we didn’t want to in order to please a parent?
It is all good and great to please everyone but not when it comes to very serious issues of compromising yourself, what you believe in and your happiness. I mean you always hear stories of self sacrifice when a son gives up a career in what he desires in order to fill his fathers expectations of say running his family business or whatever. Another instance when someone decides not to be who they are just because of what others think. These are just two of a vast and very serious miss judgement on the individuals part.
My ex once told me that she just wanted to please her mother. I asked her, “Do you really want live in misery for the rest of your life? Do you really want to be something your not forever and your life unhappy wishing you had a chance to go back?” To many times people think that they must please in order to be loved, but loved or not just because something was right for them doesn’t mean that its right for you.
I know personally, that no matter what, you can never please everyone. I used to try to, vainly trying to please the normal, the crowd, the majority. It never works though because there are always the ones that will hate you for things that are out of your control. For me it was because I was asian, different from the small town 99% caucasian farm boys. I think it was sometime in highschool when I was in despair wondering what I was doing wrong when it hit me. I was doing nothing wrong, actually doing practically everything right, just the same as everyone else. Blending with the best of them or rather failing at blending with best of them. Either way I looked at everyone I was no different other than physical characteristics and therein I realized that I had done myself a great in justice by not showing who I was. By making choices based upon a fear of not being accepted.
At that point I vowed never again and since then I have been the most confident person you will ever meet. In the end I realized I was turning into a person I didn’t even know or want to be. It was then I took a hard look into my life to assess what I wanted and who I was. From that point on I will never again give something up for the likes of someone else. I know who I am and need not others to tell me who I am! Call me whatever you want but this is a subject that you would not persuade me otherwise of. Knowing that the words of others mean nothing if you don’t know your own meaning, your ownself for that matter.
With that said live your life, forget about others conceptions of you, focus on only who you are and let no one sway you from that view, remember just because something is right for one does not mean that its necessarily right for you, there are no absolutes so why would life choices ever be absolute. Live for happiness, strive for more and be better than the rest by proving them wrong!