Why is content the new medium?!

It seems to me as though people have become satisfied with content…

I guess their is no problem with content if it is what you want, but what happened to striving for more, being better, having the best and overall having dreams? I am sorry but I will never understand this concept, I myself can never be just content. I will always be working for more, for better never excepting less than perfection.

Granted everyone faulters and fails from time to time, but its learning from that and expanding on it in order to become better and having more. It is not my ambition to take over the world by no means, but I do know what I want in life, developed ways to get there and will except no less.

Its funny because this question has so many concepts and areas that it pertains like business, self implications, relationships among an almost endless scope of what this could pertain to.

From personal experience it has affected me most in my relationships and also business but mostly in relationships and the business aspect is due in part to the relationship aspect.

In high school and college I did some pretty messed up things, I guess you could have called me a player. Throughout that time I never cared about how a girl felt or how badly I might hurt her, which by no means was right. Like most though I was young and dumb and it took something like having my own heart broken and stomped on twenty times over for me to see the mistakes I made in prior relationships.

The saying is true, “You never know what its like, until you are on the flipside.” Anyways I had been with a girl for almost a year and a half, things were great and I was loving life. There had been talks of having a child, but nothing concrete. I was nearing time for me to deploy on a Med cruise and at the time me and my girl were having unprotected sex.

Finally I left for deployment, everything was good and we were happy in each other. About two weeks in I received a call, to my surprise I found out I was going to be a father! Of course I was happy and bustling around to tell all of my friends on the ship who equally happy for me as I was for myself. Well time went by and we were heading home in December, actually December 6th of 2006.

It is was probably one of the best moments of my life to finally see the girl carrying my child, the girl I was in love with, the girl who’s life was intertwined with mine! The homecoming was truly great and life back at home in Virginia Beach was great. We had a beautiful apartment minutes from the beach, nice cars, and all around a good lifestyle.

Well time came around and my son was born February 25th, 2007 weighing in at 6lbs. 8oz. and measuring 19in. long. He was the best thing that could have happened to either of us. He had changed both of our lives, shown us what life was all about. Sometime after my girl started working at a bar, which I by no means was happy with.

Every night she came home late 2am sometimes later and stories became very inconsistent. We were fighting constantly and I knew she loved working at the bar because it gave her a sense of beauty again. After being pregnant it was like she had to be center attention all the time and this paved the way for what happened next.

I wouldn’t say that she has a drinking problem, but lets just say when she drinks all inhibitions go out the window. This was primarily why I was afraid of her working at a bar, but anyways after a while of faultering stories and inconsistencies I began wondering. I knew something was going, because I could tell she was beginning to distance herself more and more. The “I love you’s”, no longer felt real, the hugs were with no meaning or feeling. Its like that gut instinct and I mean you can feel when someones heart is just not in it and her heart wasn’t in it.

One night I was with my son which I had to be at work at 4am the next day and I sitting at home. Time went by and I knew that she got off at 2am so I called her to make sure that she remembered I had to be to work and that she had to be there in order to get my son. Sometimes she would go out with “Friends”, after work and I didn’t want her to forget. Well she never answered her phone, in fact it was off. I kept calling her until finally she called me back. By this time it was pushing 3am, she swore up and down she was staying late to help clean up. So obviously I went there, as I expected her car was not there. I called her once more before going into the bar and she told me no she was there just working. Don’t forget she still didn’t know I was there. So after that conversation I went in and talked to the owner, he told me she had been fired two days earlier which she had quote unquote “worked the night before”.

So I called her once again, this time it was no bullshit. When she picked up I was like “No more bullshit, where are you!” Once again she swore she was at work two or three times, we went through this until I was finally like “If thats so then why does your boss say you were fired and why isn’t your car here and why is it I am standing here and your not then?!” At first she tried to say she was there, then I think it clicked in her head what I had just said. She was like well I am actually at a friends just hanging out.

Later on I found out that half of the time she was never where she said she was and that in fact she had been cheating. It no longer mattered anymore, I knew we were over, it took a while for me to let go. I kept ignoring the fact of how hurt I was and hoping that there maybe a way to repair the damage. Of course there isn’t and of course I would try to hold on.

Finally I realized that it wouldn’t work and never would. It was at that point that I looked back and looked around and realized how much I just settled wanting for something great and ignoring the signs that it would never be what I wanted it to be. It was at that point that I garunteed to myself that I would never again be put in that situation. That I would never be happy with mediocre for the rest of my life. At that point I decided that I would not let anything get in the way of my career, because the only thing that you can control is yourself and that there are no garuntees in life no matter how sure you are. The only thing you can truly control is yourself and from that point on I decided that I would be happy in my career and friends and nothing else, but mostly my career cause just like girls friends come and go.

If a girl comes along it will be with much skepticism and high caution. Never will I ever be put in that situation ever again.

Note: Also nothing bad is meant by the words herein, it is not meant to bash anyone. Please do not be offended there are no hard feelings. Actually more or less thanks for helping me learn the hard way.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: